I believe in you

This is a Toastmasters speech I gave in March this year...

To have someone who believe in you is a true blessing in life. It prevents you from falling, and it can push you so far ahead than you could ever imagine.

There were many times in my life when I was discouraged by others, when I was afraid to do things that I wanted to do, and when I felt bad about myself. Every time, there was always someone who believed in me, protecting me from discouragement of others, helped me to overcome my fears, and made me feel good about myself again.

Speaking of getting discouraged by others, it seems to happen to me on every important decision I made for my life. When I decided that I want to get out of my comfort zone and live and study abroad as an exchange student; my closest friend laughed at me and said to my face “You? Want to be an exchange student abroad? With your mediocre English skill and shyness, I don’t think so”. With the sound of her condescending laughs in my head, I worked hard to improve my English skills and was selected to participate in three exchange students program in three countries during high school and college. When I was applying to business school, my ex-boyfriend said “Who do you think you are? There are so many people that are smarter and better than you. You are so arrogant that you think you will get into a top school”. With his discouraging voice in my head, I managed to get into a top school and, of course, I also managed to get rid of him afterward!

Speaking of fears, there were so many times when I challenged myself to do something new or something outside of my comfort zone, I got really scared and nervous. One of those fears was, of course, public speaking. Three years ago, I organized a conference with over 400 attendees. As the conference leader, I need to give a few speeches to speakers and conference attendees. My first speech was a short welcome speech to 20 speakers at the dinner before the day of the conference. I was so nervous. My hands were shaking, my face was pale, and my speaking turned into babbling. I was so embarrassed and disappointed in myself. I spent 9 months to prepare for the conference. But I was too nervous to speak for just 2 minutes about it. Speaking in front of 20 people was already a nerve-wrecking experience. On the next day, I had to give a speech to 400 attendees, thanking them and my team for the success of the conference. As I was standing in front of audience, waiting for my time to speak, my fear was about to hit me again. It was the moment of truth of me. I could screw up twice or I could use that moment to recover myself from the embarrassment on the day before. It was the moment of truth for me, after all dedication I put into the conference, whether I believe I was important enough for people to pay attention and listen. As the guest speaker finished his last sentence, the audience started getting up to leave. I grabbed the microphone and said “Hello everyone, I am the organizer of the conference. I would like to ask everyone to sit down, as I have something to say”. All of the sudden, people who were getting to leave the auditorium sat back down. I got their full attention to listen to what I wanted to say, and I spoke confidently this time.

I have overcome those discouragements, fears, and negative feeling toward myself because I believe in myself. As I reflect upon my past situations, I ask myself how I started to believe in my capabilities. The answer was that I have always had someone who believes in me. It began at home. The first person who made me believe in myself was my mother. No matter how impossible my dreams may seem. When I look back, I don’t remember a single time that she has doubt in what I want to accomplish. When I struggled, she said “Keep trying. My daughter is capable.” Then, she would stay up late with me, making me hot chocolate while I worked hard to get what I want. When I succeeded, she said “I knew you can do it. My daughter is competent.” Then she kissed me. I can’t give enough credit to my mother for blessing my life by believing in me. Her believing in me makes me believe in myself and protects me from the disbelieving of others.

Outside of family, I have been fortunate to have one or two friends who believe in me.

When I scared to death and embarrassed myself speaking in public, my best friend said “You worked so hard to make this conference happened. If there is someone most deserved to speak at this conference you've created, it is you.” His belief in me that I can speak confidently in front of 400 people, despite the fact that he saw me embarrassed myself speaking in front of 20 people made me overcome my fear of public speaking.

It’s true that you can succeed by believing in yourself. But it’s easier to believe in yourself when someone believes it with you. When you go back home today to your spouse and kids, I hope you keep in mind that there is a small thing you can do – a small thing that is very important and easier to do than you might have thought. Do believe in them, believe that people around you want to do well and can do well, even though they made mistakes and disappointed you, and believe that people will achieve their stretched goal in the future, even though you cannot see it today. I know you can do it. I believe in you.